its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
