i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
