i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
