Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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