grandma shit on top of the toilet
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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