We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
