I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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