I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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