My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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