I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You were trust falling into bushes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
