We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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