using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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