drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize