I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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