New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.