I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
