My brain says no but my pants say off.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
