I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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