dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
