Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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