Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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