I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
