Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
