hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
