How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
