I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
