you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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