My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
