Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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