I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i will never coherently bang her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
