You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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