Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
