: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
