We named our party play list daddy issues
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
