U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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