great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
