Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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