I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
