someone threw a dead crab at me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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