It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Welp...herpes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
