these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
