Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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