I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
