Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
