Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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