I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
