You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
