So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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