Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
