What a fucking waste of an outfit
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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