I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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