Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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