He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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