she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
