i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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