You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
