We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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