I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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