The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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