So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
